The funny side to life as a working single Mum. My stories of embarrassing escapades, toddler tantrums and great expectations.
Tuesday, 24 February 2015
Make do and mend.
During world war two, a pamphlet was published, called 'Make do and Mend', which offered advice on how to be both frugal and stylish during harsh times of rationing. My own nanny tells me stories of her own experience of this and it strikes me that, in some ways, aren't we all in the process of a make do and mend? Stick with it, reader, it's a hazy metaphor I'm working on here.
Now, I feel privileged to live in a time and place where I can provide for my son and myself, with the support of our family. I may buy many of our clothes and home items from charity and second hand shops, but I still feel privileged in our everyday life. We have a home, subsistence and safety, with the addition of love and fun.
Emotionally, however, a little wartime make do and mend may be more common than it first appears. My life is emotionally full of love and joy, but there still lies a small sense of making do, in terms of expectation. My life wasn't meant to look like this. A single Mum, working full time. To make do for me means not to settle, but to enjoy everything I have. To feel privileged, rather than cursed. To feel blessed in every simple joy, rather than disappointed by those who wrong me. Making do is thankful and peaceful.
As for the mending. Well, that's a huge project, which isn't over just yet. Slowly but surely I have been mending the damage to my dream and my stitching isn't bad. Sometimes, the stitches come loose or someone catches them and leaves a snag in our beautiful patchwork creation. The key is that I have good tools, positive skills and the ability to keep on mending, no matter how many times things break. Mending is strengthening and empowering.
So, there it is: a rather odd analogy for sorting shit out. Luckily, you've finished reading it and can resume usual procedures.
Tuesday, 17 February 2015
Let it go. Just, let it go.
There are some moments in this parenting business which, to me, feel momentous in their simplicity. This afternoon I took Ethan to a Frozen tea party at a fabulous local tea shop called Mad Hatter's.
Ethan chose his shirt and tie, which he then covered up with his spiderman costume. Obviously perfect attire for being in the presence of princesses.
The afternoon was wonderful. The princesses were convincing and gave lovely renditions of the songs. They were warm and loving towards the children and Ethan was totally in awe. I must admit that I was also genuinely entertained.
When the food arrived, Ethan had his own beautiful afternoon tea and loved it. As I sat opposite him, just the two of us, I realised that I have this funny, cute little boy who really wants to spend quality time with me. It really felt like something special happened between us and I can't quite pinpoint it. Maybe it was the comforting childhood memories of Disney or the delicious cakes; I'm not sure. All I know is that there is something just perfect about one to one parent and child time outside of the home and outside of our routine.
I felt so proud of my son, wearing his spiderman costume, meeting princesses and having a grown up afternoon tea. How amazing that this little human who I only evicted from my body 2 years and 6 months ago, can sit there eating his sandwiches and scones, simply enjoying being alive. He has no idea of stereotypical gender roles and no care for how others see him. All he is concerned with is the present: his food, the party and his Mummy. How liberating it is to be a child.
When I asked my spiderman tea partner who the prettiest princess is, he said 'Mummy' and thanked me for the treat. It doesn't get much better than that.
Cheesy as it sounds, when Elsa sings of her fears no longer controlling her and her feeling of immense freedom, I think we can all learn something from her. After all, being an adult can get uptight too easily and, sometimes, you just have to let it go.
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