The funny side to life as a working single Mum. My stories of embarrassing escapades, toddler tantrums and great expectations.
Wednesday, 4 May 2016
Equality in Disney: a long way to go.
Firstly, why shouldn't children and young people of all sexualities see themselves, or versions of themselves on film. When a 10 year old looks all around and sees no one 'nornal' like them, I can only imagine it's pretty isolating. Being gay is not odd, alternative or unusual. It just is.
Secondly, how about children with two Mums or two Dads? Are they never to see a love story which reminds them of their own family? Furthermore, perhaps the parents themselves want to see a familiar happy ever after.
Next, on a personal level, what if my own son is gay? I want him to grow up knowing that he is 100% normal, beautiful and not a weirdo. I would want him to see society changing to be as accepting as his family are.
Finally, even if your kid isn't gay, why the fuck shouldn't they see a lesbian princess or a gay knight? I certainly don't want my son growing up thinking that Beauty and the Beast areally the only relationship out there. We regularly talk about how every family is unique: for Ethan this means living with Mummy (plus John shortly), staying with Daddy and spending lots of time with his wonderful Nanny. For his nursery friend, this means living with two Mummies. For another friend, this means living with Mummy and Daddy. It's all bloody family; get over yourself.
A while back, I bumped into Ethan's nursery teacher in a local gay bar. He is gay and was there with his boyfriend and friends. We spent the night talking, in between dancing, about how much I love that Ethan has a gay male nursery teacher. Not only is this a male role model in a stereotypically viewed female job, this is a gay man. Every liberal, free spirited mother's dream! In talking, I found that this particular teacher has had parents ask that he does not change their babies nappies because of his sexuality. This brings me to tears. I can't even comprehend that this attitude still exists. The teacher and his boyfriend were surprised and moved by my passionate defense of gay equality, particularly in reference to education. This is flattering but sad: is it really so shocking?
To clarify, I am not writing about sex here. This is not about who someone does or does not sleep with. This is about raising our children in a word free of hate, free of prejudice and free of ignorance.
Friday, 15 January 2016
How it feels to be a girl.
When I was around 14 I worked in a social club collecting glasses; it was great pocket money and most customers knew me through my family. One Sunday lunchtime an unfamiliar man put his arm around me and asked if I had a boyfriend. I was dumfounded and frozen, until a barmaid shouted at him to 'get off my daughter...she's 14!' You may wonder why I'm telling you this. Well, this is what it's it's like to be a girl, to be a woman. When I reminisce on this story, I remember realising that I looked older than my years and thinking the barmaid was a hero. Thinking about it now, it reveals something further. While, of course, grabbing an underage girl is a far worse act, would it have been acceptable if I had been older? No. Obviously, clearly and strikingly no.
Still, this is what we experience daily. At brownies I was cast as Buttons in Cinderella because of my short hair and skinny frame. This was pointed out to me. A male (ex) friend once told me, on a night out, that a guy I liked wouldn't be interested because I'm 'quirky, not pretty.' I have been verbally sexually harassed by teenage boys. When I walk alone, particularly at night, I am incredibly conscious of who is behind me and my routes or methods to safety.
This may just sound like another feminist rant about the injustice unto us, but it needs writing. Everytime someone feels the need to write or speak these words, they must. We do not live in an equal society. Women are not treated equally. It is still not safe to be a woman. This must change. For good.
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