Much Ado About Parenting: Only a Mother knows.

Monday, 10 June 2013

Only a Mother knows.

Lately, I have got to thinking about my own childhood and experience with my parents growing up. It isn't until you become a parent, in particular a Mother, that you really understand everything which comes with your new title. Only as a Mother yourself can you truly understand your own Mother and her madness; all of which comes from an undying love and need for you, her child. It sounds so extreme that a Mother needs her children to live but it is the most absolute truth I have come across. Without our children we feel like empty shells of women, with no real purpose in life. There is a desperation which comes with Motherhood, which drives you to the tip of insanity and back again. Never have you been so in love or so desperate for the love of another than as a Mother.

From this I have been thinking back on what I really gained, learnt from my childhood and one thing prevails. Be yourself. It may sound cliche but my parents really did and still do accept me and my brother for who we are, who we want to be, who we can be. For myself, I feel incredibly lucky to have parents who have been welcoming and accepting to my friends and past boyfriends. They have always instilled in me a link between my life in and out of their house. My parents have always accepted my hobbies and ever changing aspirations with support but an equal amount of realism. Most of all, my parents have always been open and accepting of my love for the unusual, whether that be fashion, music or tattoos. Although, I should probably add here that it was my Mum who got me into Siouxsie and the Banshees and persuaded me to listen to Marilyn Manson as a Greenday bopping teenager!

My parents have always been interested in our hobbies, our tastes, our life which was great. My Mum and Dad would stand in the crowd of my gigs playing drums in shit indie bands and in my days as an angst ridden goth singer! They even made it to a goth night to watch me DJ and my Mum always made sure I had big pants and tights to wear under my mini skirt! As I say, I think this is what I take most from my childhood and adulthood really: openness and acceptance.

Having such open parents does make it hard fucking work to rebel though. See Mum, I said fuck!

Even in adulthood my parents put up with me going through an array of fashions and phases along with going out with some pretty dodgy characters, several house moves and the decision to undertake teacher training after just 6 months living solo working in London. They still accepted me home for a year to do my teacher training. After this my parents allowed and accepted me travelling to Ghana alone for the summer which, while a woman of 26, I can see now how harrowing this would have been for them. In particular for my Mother, watching me check in at the airport knowing that from that moment on I am alone in an unknown world, without her protection or care.

Being a parent never ends. Being a Mother doesn't stop when they are off your hands. It just gets more difficult, as you are forced to let them go and learn to accept and love a new person. This person still holds the core of your baby, your child but has changed under the influence of not just you but the world outside of you. When we live in a world as cruel as ours, its no wonder this ensues madness.

Monday, 10 June 2013

Only a Mother knows.

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