Sunday, 20 July 2014

Motherhood: primal or progress?

I want to be attractive. I want to feel attractive. Vain as it may be; it's important to me. I have come to a place where I am happy with my body and can always rely  on my standard 'I look good considering I have a 2 year old...oh, and he was MASSIVE!' I make jokes. It's what I do.

Becoming single again and building a relationship post baby brings a whole new element to this. The father of your child kind of has to deal with your post baby body. It comes with the territory. A new man, however, is a totally different game. With a new relationship comes reflection upon your own body. On the one hand, a new found confidence and, on the other, a curious predicament.

Am I different to other women who haven't had children? How much so? Does it make a difference?

Following a passing comment I made about my stretch marks, the Mad Hatter* replied with something simply perfect. To him, my changed body makes me more attractive and sexy because I have undertaken the most primal experience possible.

With this in mind, I come to think how, as women, we are encouraged to cover or fix ourselves. This idea of our changing bodies being part of a primal transformation seems to me progress. In a society which shames our bodies through the pre and post birth stages, this return to primitive acceptance gives us all something to learn from.

I'm not saying the Mad Hatter is perfect but it certainly gave me something to consider.

Carroll's Alice said 'I cannot go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.' How very true this is.

*For the purposes of this blog, my partner is called the Mad Hatter purely because of our mutual love of Alice in Wonderland.

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