The funny side to life as a working single Mum. My stories of embarrassing escapades, toddler tantrums and great expectations.
Sunday, 7 December 2014
Christmas, nostalgia and philosophy.
So, it's been a while since I've written anything here. It's 3 months exactly.
With Christmas looming, I can't help but wonder what it is about the season which drives me to melancholic nostalgia. Is it the end of this year and start of a new one? Is it the dark mornings and darker evenings? The colder climate with its promise of snow?
Christmas to me is often shrouded with ghosts, making me feel somewhat like the protagonist of Dickens' most famous Christmas story. Harking back, I find myself wondering about past lives I have led. Reflecting at my present, I feel blessed. Looking to my future, I see the unknown. Much of my past, which has led me to this point in my life, was unexpected and unplanned. With this in mind, I am unsure whether my meticulous planning is really worthwhile anymore.
Have I been wasting my real life while trying to create a life? At times I feel like I've spent so much time planning my life and trying to reach my goals that I have missed out on actually living. I have certainly achieved in life on paper and have had adventures along the way.
Recently, when studying poetry with my year 8 class, we got to discussing the idea of 'living in the present.' Now, what I am referring to is not 'the moment' because in my mind, every fragment of your life is not a moment; it can't be. The connotations of living in the moment also trouble me, for I am not suggesting that every fragment of life should be exciting or challenging. My suggestion to my class was that we should take time to look at what is happening right now and relish in it. Whether that is discussing poetry with a class, having a cup of tea or hugging my son; these are all equally as important fragments of time. They are mine and I should own them fully, giving them the respect they deserve.
The philosopher and sociologist Bruno Latour once said that 'philosophy is not in the business of explaining anything. Actual occasions explain what happened, not philosophy.' In this case, my analytical mind will not bring me answers; my fragmented occasions, however, may do.
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