Saturday, 11 August 2012

Ethan George Hadley

Just a very quick one to say that, as you may have guessed by my silence, our Son was born at 6:38am Monday 6th August 2012, just 2 hours before we were due at the hospital to be induced at 13 days overdue! Ethan George Hadley was born at home, as planned in our bedroom and I somehow did it without any pain relief at all, even though he arrived weighing an epic 10 lbs 13oz!

Ethan is healthy, happy and totally perfect. The Hadley family are overjoyed he has arrived and so proud of him already. Daddy has been so amazing at looking after Mummy and Ethan and we are very lucky to have our extended family around us helping out.

One quick thing is that I cannot stress enough just how amazing giving birth at home is and how much I would suggest trying it if possible, as obviously each pregnancy is very different. The atmosphere was relaxed, even through the pain and difficulty of labour and once Ethan was born it was lovely to have him bought straight to me in our own bed and home with everything here. I love that the first place he experienced was his home.

More at some point soon; expect home birth, bigger babies and the thoughts and feelings of a new Mummy!

Saturday, 4 August 2012

10 things to do when overdue in pregnancy (the alternative list)

So, tonight at 11 days overdue me and hubby decided to head to a favourite local restaurant in Leigh-on-Sea 'Simply Blues' for dinner as a distraction and to dare our stubborn little dude to cause a drama in public! 

We have all read the usual lists which contain enlightening suggestions of things to do when overdue such as reading a good book, watching a film or washing baby clothes. In all honesty these tips are either ridiculously obvious or as dull hearing yet another woman tell you how kinky 'Fifty Shades...' is. I like to think that the following is a list of far more inventive and entertaining ways to spend your final days with child:  

1, Go out for dinner in a busy restaurant and, when you get massive cramp in your massive arse, jump up suddenly and loudly. If not suffering cramps, do it anyway. Watch the staff shit themselves and the childless couples around you look really uncomfortable.

 2. Wear your 'I'm not fat, I'm pregnant’ (or similar) t-shirt for the irony of being so pregnant and so large. Even better to combine this with point number one.

3. Take a bus or train ride and when (if) someone offers you a seat act horrified and demand to know what they are suggesting. 
 

4. Head to Boots but not for your usual breast pads and Bio Oil. Browse the contraceptive aisle for a while and engage an assistant in an in depth conversation about which method is best. 

5. Ask for a tour of your local gym. When they ask you what you want to use the gym for tell them you have a bit of a belly to sort out for your holiday to Ibiza next month.

6. Go speed dating and watch the horrified and potentially disgusted looks on the faces of the singletons. In particular the men as they sit down uncomfortably and think of something to say.  

7. Take a trip to Ann Summers. Ask the assistant for advice on the crotchless knickers and nipple tassels. If you are really brave you could even ask them which sex toy is best to bring on labour.  

8. Go to your local shop or cafe and pick up a bag of prawn cocktail crisps. Proceed to ask the assistant whether you can eat them because they contain shellfish and you are concerned about the risks in pregnancy. Please note someone genuinely asked our midwife this question. I shit you not.

9. Take a trip to the cinema to see a 15 or 18 rated film and ask the staff whether you allowed because you are carrying a minor. Even when they look confused and tell you it is not a problem, leave quickly, looking upset and ashamed.

10. The possibilities are endless. Use your imagination to make being overdue in pregnancy as inventive and enjoyable as possible.

Note: I have not tried out all of these ideas and am not a medical professional. I am not suggesting that sex toys or any other point from the list will help to bring on labour or is a good plan in any way.

Friday, 3 August 2012

The Moth and The Chamber Pot.

Having lost my battle to the beaver I have been faced with an entirely different type of beast today. At 41+3 days pregnant even the most simple of tasks is becoming a challenge at this point, if only due to my frustration and ever fraying patience.

I spent what I consider a considerable amount of time simply maneuvering myself out of the bath like something more reminiscent of a creature from some Japanese horror story of revenge and doom than the glowing earth mother I am in my mind. Having relaxed and feeling rather proud of managing to hoist myself from the bath I suddenly felt an onset of unusual pains. Embracing my inner big screen demon I wandered around a little, sat on the sofa, had a crack at bouncing on the exercise ball. Imagine if someone shagged one of the zombies from 'The Walking Dead' and got it pregnant then then left it to get on with it in an airy flat by the sea. Imagine a potential victim of Jeremy Kyle, who even he couldn't find the right synonym for 'scum' because, well, she's dead and trying to eat him. Now that would make daytime TV far more interesting but that's a whole other story.

Back to my toilet/moth story. Feeling tired after all that undead action I headed to my chamber pot only to find that even this would be a challenge to face. When will it stop? Still feeling unusual I reclined and realised nothing was happening down there, other than the original pain. I would apologise for too much information but if you didn't get a vibe for the subject matter from the heading I refuse to take responsibility for your lack of responsibility. Already uncomfortable, it was at this point I fell off the toilet seat, which appears to have broken somehow. Probably because of my massive arse or belly weighing it down. After 9 months it has just given up. Oh, the irony.

This pretty much covers the whole toilet fiasco, except for an uninvited guest. The moth. It may have been a tiny beast but it seemed determined to make my afternoon toilet adventure even more eventful. So, here I am at now over 9 months pregnant, in a bath towel, looking and acting like a zombie on the toilet. Falling off it, getting back on. Fighting a moth all the way through Read into that whatever metaphor you will. I am just wondering whether Beyonce was in the same boat as she prepared to head to the hospital floor she had rented with her millions.

Thursday, 2 August 2012

Yoga: not just for hippies.

I spent my teen years floating around in my fluro flowing skirt, Shiva printed shirt and masses of bangles like a cross between Janis Joplin (minus the drugs and talent) and an extra from 'Austin Powers.' Yeah baby! I was wild; I could even be seen wearing a bindi at times. Needless to say I stood out living in the small Essex town of Corringham where everyone knows your name (or family at least) and working men's clubs (where I worked at the time collecting glasses), local pubs and the village hall are the social hub. To really embrace my New Age look I tried everything from herbal teas and chick peas to animal rights activism and tree loving.

I can see what you are thinking. This woman is clearly a hippy so how does this support yoga as anything other than a pretenious pastime for the peculiar?

When I fell pregnant I hadn't undertaken a sustained amount of yoga time in several months and felt it would be an easy way to stay active without working too hard! However, I really have found that it has provided so much more than an easy way to prevent myself from feeling like a total sloth. While continuing to work full time in a highly pressured and intense job with the usual pregnancy gripes it was the only time I really experienced real relaxation. Whether this is simply because of the focus on movement, careful breathing or simply the quiet time to switch off I would suggest everyone should try it at some point, pregnant or otherwise. I also suggest doing so with the door shut with no risk of interruption to save yourself any hippy shame!

Right, I know that was a quick one but having completed my afternoon yoga session it is about time I headed off for some green tea and chick pea curry!






Wednesday, 1 August 2012

The good, the bad and the ugly.

Having reflected on being overdue, video games and Ghana I have been thinking about the physical side of pregnancy and what will happen once his highness makes an appearance. Shallow as this may sound I am more focused on the hilarious nature of the pregnant body.

I will start with the good but believe me, it is all downhill from here! People tell you about the pregnancy glow right? They may even tell you have it. In the early stages when you have been projectile vomiting for longer than the girl in 'The Exorcist' or even the parody of this legendary scene seen in 'Scary Movie 2' this is a ridiculous. As you move further on in pregnancy and seem to become more tired and aged than the coverage of the Olympic ticket farce already has done it feels on the cusp of offensive. Either this or blame the hormones. While some people may be saying you have the glow on a day when you really do look like shit to try and perk you up, I do believe there is some truth in it. I am not saying we have some kind of teen vampire sparkle but looking back at photos of myself I can see some truth in the preggo glow myth. Either that or blame the hormones. Again.

Next I come to the bad. There are plenty of bases to cover here. A base of constipation with a filling of piles and heart burn all topped off with stretch marks for good measure. Lush. This isn't to say that these aspects of pregnancy have been unbearable or are in any way not worth the final outcome; they are largly just amusing really. My own Mum saw my stretch marks just the other day and seemed surprised but told me, in her Rosie the Riveter manner to be proud of my stretch marks and what they represent. Outstanding advice in my opinion. Hence why these are only finalists in the category of bad. I am talking about the bad which are what I like to call baby wardens, belly monitors or the bump police. We all know them, those people who just love to comment on the size, shape and implication of your bump. They feel the need to tell you either how massive you are and what a beast of a baby you are going to have to push out of your nether regions or how tiny and lucky you are but that your baby will clearly be a tiny, malnourished specimen which will just pop out no trouble! In my case it was the later. From people I actually know to taxi drivers, it seems that bump development could be considered an Olympic spectator sport. I am sure they mean well but take a minute to think about it. At what other point in life do you approach a woman and tell them what a fat bastard or skeletal creature they are?

Time for the best bit. The ugly. If you have ever heard the phrase 'bumping uglies' I may have found where it originates. The challenge of the beaver in pregnancy. Let me take you back to my time in Ghana. My volunteer friend and I were getting dressed for the day and suddenly realised that with a lack of consistent running water or clean facilities we were beginning to develop an au natural approach to tackling said beaver and couldn't wait to tackle that bad boy on our return home. First on the list was a cheese sandwich and cup of tea. Next was the battle of the beaver. Let me tell you something, what I thought was a beaver discovery in Ghana was merely a simple squirrel in comparison to what has emerged over the past 9 months. In the beginning and for some time I was gaining points in the beaver wars but as time progressed and my view of the beast became even more limited I was forced to hold up my white flag and surrender. In the battle of Cat vs Beaver I am sad to say that beaver has well and truly won. KO.

You may as well laugh at the ridiculous bits of pregnancy. Otherwise you might just cry. Or maybe this is all the hormones talking yet again.