The funny side to life as a working single Mum. My stories of embarrassing escapades, toddler tantrums and great expectations.
Tuesday, 23 October 2012
Keep Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'
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| Knackered from the rolling! |
The most challenging part of the whole thing was probably getting it attached to the door frame in the first place. It seems baby equipment really isn't built to be easy to make or set up at all. The pram/car seat/transformer is the worst, with its secret buttons and straps and parts it really is one of the biggest challenges of having a baby!
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| Woooooooooooooah! |
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| Happy in this awesome number! |
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| Modelling my new H&M outfit! |
Monday, 22 October 2012
Diablo Jo's Rockabilly Accessories: Treats for Mamma and Bambino!
In writing this blog I realised I have missed one thing which is probably more important to me than I like to make out: fashion. To clarify, when I say fashion I mean unique and original ideas and creations which make you look and feel good, not TOWIE inspired dullness. I like to think that I am far too interesting and clever to be bothered about silly things like clothes, make-up and hair but the truth is I am a girl and I like pretty things! Like I say to the teenage girls I teach, there is nothing wrong with enjoying these things but this doesn't stop you being a creative, intelligent individual! My style, if you can call it that, varies between poetic bohemian (ha!) to indie comic book geek to 50s rock 'n' roll. The later of the three is my favourite look but the one I have always struggled with. To embody real 50s glamour you need to maintain yourself well, from your hair to your nails it works best when you make an effort. Sadly, I don't have great nails and wear my hair short. While I love having short hair and think it suits me, it doesn't quite fit the 50s chic look. Here is where the rock 'n' roll comes in!
While pregnant I came across some outstanding headscarves which provide the perfect solution to my hair woes. Designed to tie in a typically retro style headscarves come in a range of cute and kitsch designs, from classic flowers to edgy tattoo inspired skulls, each and every one stunning! Throughout my pregnancy and beyond I wear Diablo Jo's creations, not only to help on bad hair days but to make a simple jeans and t-shirt combo far more glamorous! Since finding Diablo Jo's I have found an array of wonderful hair accessories which are just beautiful but the latest addition to the range is 'Bambino Diablo' which includes fabulous pieces for your little rocker! The skirts for girls are gorgeous and I can imagine they would make any little girl look and feel amazing. As for the boys there is an inspired range of beautifully crafted bibs in the same designs as the headscarves. Designed to make your little dude look similar to a cowboy they hold so much more style value than the usual dribble catchers without losing their practical value.
These are two of my favourite designs from the Bambino range:
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| Anchors Away! |
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| Skulls and Roses! |
Wednesday, 17 October 2012
A lesson in poo-cabulary!
Recently Ethan had a bad case of trapped wind which nothing seemed to fix. It just stayed inside. After two days of praying to the Poo Gods we finally had action and it was everywhere! Honestly, my prayers were well and truly answered with that bad boy!
When comparing poo notes with another Mum I was introduced to her term for these poo explosions of a poo-nami! Brilliant! Poo-nami has possibly become my favourite of the poo-cabulary! It is simple, clever and funny with all the makings of a perfect play on words which I hope will one day be included in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Sadly, these poo-cabulary additions to the English Language will just have to stay here in my own personal Dictionary. For now at least.
Poo-cabulary:
Poo-aholic
1: one who feels compulsively the need to talk about poo.
2: one who likes studying and talking about poo to the excess.
Poo Gods
1: the Being perfect in power, wisdom, and goodness who is worshipped as creator and ruler of the universe
2: a being or object believed to have more than natural poo attributes and powers and to require human worship.
2: a being or object believed to have more than natural poo attributes and powers and to require human worship.
3: a person or thing of supreme poo value.
4: a powerful ruler of poo.
4: a powerful ruler of poo.
Poo-nami
1: a great wave produced especially by submarine poo movement or volcanic arse eruption.
Tuesday, 9 October 2012
Fifty Shades of Grey? Give me food porn any day.
My name is Catherine and I am a food porn-aholic.
I don't know if it is just me or whether I have just reached that stage, or should I say age? I have never watched soaps, I don't follow sport and reality TV rarely catches my attention. I only ever watch the odd comedy show, documentary and so it seems, food shows. I love it. From 'Masterchef' to 'Come Dine with Me' nothing makes a night in better than a lovely bit of rump, a sexy salad and a tarty torte! I even found myself watching the Hairy Bikers tour the US the other day. Although, honestly, the show is really good and really funny AND hairy! What more could you want on a dull Wednesday night?
I am not too sure why I enjoy watching these shows so much. I am not a chef, nor do I aspire to be one. I do not consider myself a 'foodie' of any kind and I am not a wine snob by any means. I enjoy baking and I think I am pretty good at it. Either that or my family and friends have been lying to me about how much they enjoy my cakes! I enjoy what you could consider fine dining and wine but I also enjoy nothing more than a huge plate of hot wings and a bottle of Budweiser. So, why the addiction to food shows?
My first guess is that I like food. A lot. A simple answer which leaves this piece rather redundant and surely there must be more to it that just being a greedy bitch who likes cakes. A lot. . Often my menu of the day consists of half finished mugs of tea and super noodles topped off with lashings of custard creams and bourbons while looking after my now 9 week old son; hardly fine dining. Why then, would I want to watch Ramsay shout at his desperate chefs: 'Move your arse Big Boy and get the beef in the fucking oven!' on a loop for 45 minutes? The first answer is that it is funny; harsh but funny. The best example of classic Ramsay humour I recall is the occasion he offered a challenger the advice of 'don't fuck it, make love to it' when referring to kneading bread. If this isn't both drama and comedy gold, I don't know what is. The second answer is that when a chef on the show actually produces something so good looking that I don't know whether to make love to it, fuck it or eat it. While I may never have the skill to produce something this good or the money to pay someone else to, it is an aspiration to what I could eat. The possibilities through food shows are endless.
This leads me to the comparison between my love of food porn and the current addiction of millions of women to 'Fifty Shades of Grey' critic dubbed Mummy porn. When women read 'Fifty Shades of Grey' they apparently gain an erotically charged satisfaction missing from their day to day lives. Through Mr Grey and his chamber of secrets or whatever the fuck it is they too can live out their fantasy of becoming a sex slave. How wonderful. In my alternate universe, however, I can use the likes of Mr Ramsay to live out my food fantasies. I too can become a slave to scallops, a seducer of saffron and get scandalous with savignon blanc. That's a posh wine right? It sounds French so it must be posher than a bottle of Blue Nun at least.
When it comes to porn you can keep your whips and chains. Save them for Gaga and Rhianna and pass me a knife and fork. Kinky eh?
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