Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Up in arms.

Despite what you may have heard about Mums of young babies, we don't all sit around watching daytime TV. I actually make a point of avoiding it. Not due to some self righteous claim of intellectual authority over those who do enjoy it, but because it is designed to suck you in. Before you know it you have reachhed 3pm and achieved nothing. I tend to have music on instead, as this is relaxing for both Ethan and I. Of course I do watch TV for certain shows but don't have a habit of it just being there.

For some unknown reason I switched on to 'Lorraine' one morning this week while having breakfast as Ethan played in his gym. What I was faced with was four women discussing arms. Yes, you heard me right. Arms. In a deadly serious tone, as though they were finding a soution to world conflict or poverty. Apparently ladies, getting the correct size, style and tone of arm is the key to a happy Christmas and I dare say a happy life. Shit the bed, if I had known that I wouldn't have spent years searching for true love, good friends and building a family. I also wouldn't have bothered learning anything, teaching or writing. Cheers for the enlightenment Lorraine and chums.

I understand that obviously body image, dieting and exercise are topics of conversation on these shows but with a focus on arms it is more comedy gold than anything else. After watching a few minutes I decided to bake a massive cake with a shit load of sugar and butter in. That's my Christmas fucked then. If only I had paid more attention to Lorraine. Imagine the headlines: 'Daytime telly saved my arms AND family Christmas.' I've missed my chance but there is still time for your arms to be saved.

As a Mummy mate said when I told her about the feature: 'Lorraine can cock right off.' Couldn't have put it better myself.


Disclaimer: this is written for entertainment purposes and is in no way a personal attack against Lorraine and the gang.
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4 comments:

  1. Unknown30 November 2012 at 09:52

    Cannot stand this woman. I have even written to her before, a respectful but nevertheless very angry email, about some absolute nonsense she wrote about the evils of the smoker. No surprise there was never a response. Her thin veneer of sweetness and charm all too often develops a crack and we see the beast within. Nasty woman.

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    1. Catherine23 December 2012 at 14:28

      Brilliant! I love that you wrote a letter to her! Good work!

      Delete
  2. Unknown22 December 2012 at 20:22

    This reminds me of this article I saw in the Guardian. http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/dec/09/wobbly-arms-women-body-image
    It is almost enough to make the blood boil if it wasn't so stupidly ridiculous!

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    Replies
    1. Catherine23 December 2012 at 14:27

      Just saw this. It is ridiculous! The obsession with body image for women is too much. As though that will bring happiness.

      Delete

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